Fictional Presidents: Lisa M. Simpson

No.: Unknown
Party: Unknown
Term: January 2030 — Present
First Gentleman: Unknown
First Children: Unknown
Vice President: Unknown
Cabinet: Secretary Alan Greenspan, Secretary Milhouse van Houten
Code Name: Unknown

A former student at Springfield Elementary School, Lisa Simpson ran for the Presidency of the United States, with the help of former colleague Milhouse van Houten, to replace the outgoing President, Donald J. Trump (Reform Party at the time of the airing of the episode). Simpson ran against Chastity Bono. One of the promises made during the Simpson campaign was a pledge to build the world’s largest bookmobile.

Lisa Marie Simpson was ultimately elected President of the United States.

President-elect Simpson would later nominate van Houten for a position within the United States Cabinet. He would be confirmed by the United States Senate within days. President Simpson would also nominate Alan Greenspan to the United States Cabinet, who would be confirmed at a later time by the United States Senate.

“We’re broke.” — Secretary Milhouse van Houten

The Simpson Administration, formed in January 2030, was centred on three key policy areas:

• Reading
• Writing
• Refilling the ocean

The immediate concern for President Simpson was to handle the aftermath of President Trump’s financial policies, which had rendered the United States of America broke after the Trump Administration invested in American children through the Balanced Breakfast Program, which created an ultra-strong super criminal generation capable of remaining awake due to mandatory midnight basketball.

As a result, the United States Government was forced to borrow funds from every country in the world, which amassed an incredibly large foreign debt, with the situation dire enough for a member of the United States Cabinet to suggest mass suicide via cyanide pills.

A Summit with various world leaders was held at the White House, which included the Chancellor of Germany and the Premier of China, headed by President Simpson, where the world leaders demanded remittance and threatened physical violence against the President with various weaponry. This was temporarily relieved by Bart’s intervention. In response, President Simpson agreed to legalise marijuana, although it is unknown if it was accomplished.

PRESIDENT LISA SIMPSON: “If I’m going to bail the country out, I’m going to have to raise taxes, but in my speech I’d like to avoid calling it a ‘painful emergency tax’.”
SECRETARY MILHOUSE VAN HOUTEN: “What about… ‘colossal salary grab’?”
PRESIDENT LISA SIMPSON: “See, that has the same problem, we need to soften the blow.”

President Simpson later found herself forced to review the American budget to determine what aspects of the Government would need to be cut to alleviate the financial status of the United States.

This ultimately led to a government bailout of the entire country, forcing a mass increase of taxes which would immediately hamper every Americans’ pay, described as a ‘temporary refund adjustment’ to the American people. As part of the roll-out process, President Simpson announced it through an Oval Office speech, which was revealed as a lie by Bart when he interrupted, leading to a public scandal and both the President and the United States Secret Service assaulting her brother in the Oval Office.

“My fellow Americans and voting illegal aliens. I will not mince words. Your country needs you. That’s why today I am proposing a temporary refund adjustment. The months ahead will be long and arduous, but it is only through arduosity that-” — President Lisa Simpson

The ‘refund adjustment’ was rejected by the American people after it was exposed as a tax hike by her brother, Bart, during the Oval Office speech, with 85% of the public voting ‘no’ and 12% of the public voting ‘yes’.

President Simpson had also failed to reduce illegal immigration and had made it an official position of the United States Government that they would be allowed to vote in elections.

President Simpson also nominated and appointed a Justice for the Supreme Court of the United States.

One aspect of the Simpson Administration was an attempt to desegregate death sports, an aspect of which led to the foundation of the Negro Leagues of Rollerball, a team which President Simpson would later meet with at the White House.

“I am proud to honour the players of the Negro Leagues of Rollerball, and as we strive for the desegregation of all death sports, we cannot help but be inspired by-” — President Lisa Simpson

President Simpson would later create the United States Department of Keeping It Real and nominated her brother, Bart, to the position, which would be based at Camp David. Retired entertainer Krusty the Clown, business owner Nelson Muntz and Otto Mann would later be hired for the Department.

President Simpson was also distracted by scandals created by her brother, Bart Simpson, and her father, Homer Simpson, who destroyed the roof of the Oval Office with a pickax.